JON FREDDY SLATER SAYS HELLO – QUIETLY…
Jon Freddy (who you may know we lost on Monday) was born at 14:15 yesterday in Ipswich General Hospital. We were given a special ‘Quiet Room’ where a family can stay and were allowed to stay overnight after the birth and have some time with him. Mother is in bits and has had a lovely time with Jon.
OUR LITTLE WARRIOR
Jon Freddy Slater, our little warrior, had battled this accursed T13 – this extra gene – and my what a battle he has fought. To last thirty one weeks and to have been kicking away vigorously with his heart strong until two weeks ago shows his spirit and courage. He was beautiful to us and yet, of course, showed us the battle he has had to fight in how he was in his body. We were given some tiny baby clothes someone had left as a donation who had lost a baby. Tiger choose part of the outfit we were to dress him in prior to us going in. So he had a lovely little blue outfit.
We have seen so much kindness, so much love and care, so many hearts touched by our little boy. Anyone who tells me an unborn child is not precious is plainly wrong. EVERY LIFE IS PRECIOUS.
We had looked at options regarding a funeral. I’ve been to funeral directors, the cemetary and looked at spots and we’d worked through options on Tuesday…. see GRAVE CHOICES BELOW… (It’s not morbid by the way so don’t worry.)
We decided on planting a tree and having a little plaque for Jon. (see Grave Choices above)
Tiger came to see Jon Freddy yesterday afternoon and Daddy explained what he’d see and how he was a bit red… etc etc.. Tiger did ever so well saying hello to his little brother and was very calm and loved The Memory Box we had been given (donated by SANDS thank you, it’s brilliant). A conversation with a son soon to be five years old about ‘what happens next’ was prompted by Benjamin who, as ever, was wanting to get things clear.
Unfortunately I hadn’t updated him on the cremation choice, as against a hole in the ground, before he hit questioning mode. So, once he ascertained that ashes would be available, and will live in a specially designed little Teddy Bear for a while, questions came…”Where will the funeral be? Where will we bury Jon?” He’d been learning about funerals at school of course…
Quick as a flash Daddy decided he could bury the ashes under Jon’s tree that we are now going to purchase in Jon’s memory. It will be in our local park where the four of us walked and played together… Good thinking Daddy, a shift from ashes out to sea at Felistowe as Christiane and I had envisaged until then… But probably a better plan – and it will probably help the tree grow taller!
When Tiger was leaving he stood on the bed looked down at his brother and said, “Bye Jon, I love you…”
In The Memory Box were two teddy bears, Tiger took one and has given one to Jon. So I managed Tiger in and out and then Christiane, we were going to leave but stayed over. It was right. We had time with our little boy.
We plan a CELEBRATION OF THE INSPIRATION JON HAS BEEN FOR US in March. We plan to have something where friends and family can come see us and we have some fun. A time when we can plant Jon’s tree, Tiger can bury his brother’s ashes, and we can remember the inspiration Jon’s been for us on, or close to, his birthday which would have been 24th March.
Christiane is in pieces, I am not really grieving yet. My protection system has kicked in and I am organising things that need to be done. Death Certificates, etc… and looking after my family. The tears will come.
This is the hardest heartache, we miss our son… But we have been blessed with time with a little boy who, whilst he was in his mother’s tummy, was so part of our family and has touched so many lives around the world.
We’ve had a fabulous time as a family of four. Tiger knows he’s had a brother. Jon’s spirit was present with us and we talked with him, and his brother did, all the time.
Since November 26th we’ve been galvanised to pray, learn about healing and for me to write and compose. My son has changed me, strengthened me, inspired me.
More to come but for now. Thank you everyone for sending messages, thinking of us and praying for us.
We did not see a miracle of healing. Why not? I do not know and shout WHY NOT? But we did not see it on this occasion. But we love our God and know good will come from this time.