I finished the commentary on Sunday night. It’s always interesting to get back into it after a year off. I never get to do World’s so there is always a gap of knowledge there for me as I can’t reference the full season that’s been. So I have to catch up. Similarly, because I am not in and on the ice right now the rules that apply are not ‘top of mind’ for me, so I relearn. Trouble is that these days even the judges get the elements called and to see the technical details is more removed for me and everyone.  You need to be a Technical Specialist in the Figure Skating dicipline you are watching and to have pre watched a programme to be able to call the elements. A challenge then.

Then there are the moments when the young lady skater doing an exhibition removes her coat and proceeds in her skimpy gold outfit to wiggle her derriere towards the camera and I am supposed to offer a comment?… “Pass me my heart rate pills” was what came to mind and voice at that particular moment.

Perhaps because I am focused on learning whilst watching Skate Canada I found Kristy Krall, who now coaches Patric Chan along with Lori Nichol, an inspirational person to watch. She wasn’t worried about being on TV in the ‘Kiss and Cry’ she simply focused on Patrick and built him up spaking on the positives of the performance and saying ‘Remember how that feels for tomorrow.” She did this building up after both his short and long – and he listened respectfully and took on board what she was saying – brilliant. Similarly Meagan Duhamel encouraged Eric Radford her partner when he had lost muscle power and collapsed on a late lift in their long. She had an unquenchable light that shone out of her – wonderful to see.

Christiane asked why these particular points had touched me? Interesting question. I am processing but I think it’s about “positivity” I love to see light in people. I want to have it for me. I encourage people and my main memories are that I have not had that much encouragement back? So I tend to doggedly fight on or expect the worst, not the best, to be. “You have been thwarted,” was Christiane’s summation. Why is this ‘What’s Wrong?’ people are going to stop me story for me? How to break out of it? Why, when people are encouraging and say ‘What you are doing is inspirational and courageous,” as people do, do I not hear them clearly and take it on-board? Hmmm…

Chris (Howarth) who I commentate with asked me “What are you doing this week?”  I explained about my Business Records inspection on Tuesday. I didn’t speak of piano, guitar, developing songs continuing the work of ‘The Year of Learning.’ Why not? This is my work and what lights me up.

So I am reflecting this morning, reading a book by a friend and coach Richard Fox who speaks of Living a Purposeful Life. I am reviewing it for him and was one of the initial contributors. These exercises always promote a navel gaze moment and/or a look up moment.

And the Business Records check went very well. They were mega impressed by Kashflow. I had records back six years – “Oh didn’t they tell you we are just looking at the last three months?” No!!! Hey ho at least the accounts are all in order now which makes me feel more secure. VAT man can come any time you’ll be welcome. The ladies were impressed I made them tea, apparently men don’t when being checked out. Maybe I get a tick on a form for that?

Tuesday; I worked out and nearly collapsed, thanks Matt – our coach –  for running / sprinting with me and the encouragement “Great work” as I lay on the gym floor after an hour. My gym colleague Andy saying “Come on Old Man” – how encouraging – as he bounced up and down like a boxer and I lay panting.   “The difference between you and me is that I’m fitter than you, younger than you… and I use lighter weights,” he added. Well it was cross fit for an hour full on  9 minutes at a time 3 times plus start and finish bits. My having ten days off affects my fitness big time, must take my gym kit next time. Last night Kettlebells, getting back into it.

I’ve written an article for iSkate on P-Performance completed on time – yes. Tuesday I learnt how to program drums in Ableton Live a bit – which is great fun – and loving being back on the piano and with the guitar. Jessica Baron has been coaching me from online at Jamplay – absolutely brilliant. She is a Child Psychologist and a Guitar Teacher – the two together really work for me! Deep wisdom.

I read a lyric I wrote back in 2006. It had a comment against it, a diary entry if you will, it spoke of how I was aspiring to be a singer songwriter.  Almost six years on I am full on pursuing that aspiration. Yes I’d like to be on the ice again, yes I’d ike to be dancing on ice with a girl who can skate brilliantly, yes I’d like to have the money coming in and a great team working in a Entertainment Factory I’ve created and yes I have projects that could realise that but… in time all that will come. For now I will read and review Richard’s book, practise and develop my skills as an Artist and Producer, enjoy the time of being with my wife and son, and keep looking up…

“Live your life and forget your age.” Says Norman Vincent Peale in Richard’s book. It was Mr Peale who wrote The Power of Positive Thinking and helped lead me to become a Christian Man. (I read it when I was travelling across America on Tom Collins ‘Tour of Champions’ eons ago. When I had seen the light, lost my skating career, gained a wife and sat lost in Feltham I wrote to Mr Peale with some angry questions about my life demanding answers. A response came back, not even from the great man himself but an assistant! How dare they, don’t they know who I thought I was? Ha… anyway the synopsis to their response was “Get humility and start from there…” I was angry then, now ahhh yes. How that resonates in this year for me.

Onwards. I hope you get the chance to pursue your dream today, it is a privilege… as well as an ongoing challenge!

Love Nicky


PS Christiane took picture of me on a walk with Nic, Charlotte and Rhianna a couple of weeks ago. We do Suffolk Safaris.

  • tease-and-stocking

  • tease-and-denial

  • sissification

  • my-princess-goddess

  • mesmerize

  • jerkoff-instruction

  • humiliation

  • handjob

  • foot-fetish

  • female-domination

  • dirty-talk

  • cum-eating-instruction

  • chastity

  • ass-worship