PUBLIC REACTION AND MR PAINFUL – DAY 346 (19)

Twelve months ago I started on  a voyage of discovery. I called it ‘A Year of Learning.’ I blogged a little video that showed me plink plonking on the piano. Harmless I thought and it showed where I was. I got a comment which went something very close to, ‘Painful Nicky, don’t bother just give it up.’ Consequently I turned off comments…

When a dream is in it’s infancy it can be trampled on. Nowadays I am thinking that, rather like a baby needs to be protected and cared for by its parents until it grows stronger, a dream needs to be protected too. This medium of Internet communication facililitates the put down, with no recourse to the message sender. Of course ‘I asked for it,’ by daring to expose something in it’s baby stages. But the hurt and cutting edge of the comments went deep.

Anyway, on Tuesday I went around to a friends house. He is fixing a cable for me. Whilst there I asked if I could play my new song. I didn’t get the words and music together properly – I haven’t practised that yet and doing it alone is different to a audience, however small – but I just love this song so I played it and they got the feel of the lyrics too.

OK so it’s a captive audience and friends but, well a silence tells a thousand words and I’ve been there before. This time was different. What struck my audience of two was the speed of my playing in certain parts. Yes they loved the song but it was the small riffs and links that struck home. Fascinating. I can’t see it as I practise each day. I can feel a difference but it’s incremental.

Di said “Did you play the piano before?” “A tiny bit.” I said. “It’s his Year of Learning” said Adrian – who has been a rock in helping me in the studio set up.

So Mr Painful you were incorrect in your ‘give it up advisory’  even a plinky plonky piano player can develop if they set their hearts and minds to it and apply themselves. Perhaps you harbour a dream that is too scary to really commit to yourself? Or perhaps you were hurt and disappointed and therefore have to hurt others? Or, you may be seeking to protect them from the pain of disappointment you felt? Or maybe you delight in the cutting comment in some strange power play way? Or maybe, as you have not succeeded in your dreams you don’t want others too? Whatever it was or is I encourage you to not stamp on dreams of others, let them live… Oh yes, and revive that dream of yours that has caused you pain and go for it, or get some help to get through the pain… Dreams are realisable, they just take a lot of hard work, time, money, application, courage and doggedness. Along with a smidgen of talent and good fortune. Whoever told you you can’t do it, before you had seen it through to the very end, was wrong. Just a thought.

Lots more to do for me of course; this includes Jimmy Webb (from his Tunesmith book) asking me to do inversions on every chord of twelve bar blues in every key, and to practise until I am able to do this in my sleep! Another challenge.

I am encouraged by the piano reaction though and that I was just open to play, not shying away. The dream I have is quietly growing stronger.

I got the notes to another song I’ve written by singing at the guitar tuner, seeing the notes and then playing them on the keyboard this lunchtime. An E key and interesting structure. Can’t get the matching chords yet – probably need to do these on the guitar as this is where it sprang from originally.

Rock N Roll.

Love N

PS I am reaching a conclusion on my thinking of what’s next? Nineteen days to go before (self apponied deadline) I need to set a renewed theme or goal… I love to have a project measured in days – focuses the mind… Interesting times. Now to the VAT and Tax then Spartan training at the gym tonight!

  • tease-and-stocking

  • tease-and-denial


  • sissification

  • my-princess-goddess

  • mesmerize

  • jerkoff-instruction


  • humiliation

  • handjob


  • foot-fetish

  • female-domination

  • dirty-talk

  • cum-eating-instruction

  • chastity

  • ass-worship