I am in the home stretch of ‘My Year of Learning,’ in many ways I am getting into a love of the routine of it now. Studio from eight am, elevenses, lunch at one and gym every weekday evening where I get and give banter with my gym colleagues and get tension out of the system. There is much to do, so much to learn and I become convinced that this type of learning using internet and books can be very fruitful – if you can be self motivated and excited about your subject. I am missing ‘the wisdom of others’ and the ‘possibility of partnerships though’ that more formal education delivers. But I could plug this in via skype to alleviate it to a degree in the future.

Ahh I speak of the future. Coming out of a bubble of learning… How will that look? I am not sure, I know, from experience, that each project I undertake takes time and energy and that – right now – my focusing on competence and character and being in this bubble is key for me and I love it. I so easily get distracted and put all my energy into ‘the project of the moment’ that I could loose the richness of simply increasing my skills; if I pursued one or more of the potential projects I have in my stock of ‘things to do.’

Lyrics come, Christiane said ‘beautiful’ to one I showed her yesterday – it is about writing a letter that will never be sent, you know the type where you want to say something but cannot speak it face to face – deep stuff. I am passionate about learning more production techniques now and immersed in my Korg Oasys that has, until now, proved to be complex and extremely difficult. Somehow I am starting to see her inner beauty and be less daunted by the massive power and complexity and the Phone Book of a manual – all controlled by 0 and 1, as computers are of course. You just have to know which 0 and which 1 to activate to make her work! I am equally passionate about melody creation and layering different areas in production, brilliant to be getting deeper into music creation and now starting to want to be in production.

My video equipment sits idly waiting for the artist to come and use it. So much investment sitting dormant for the moment. I am stopping beating myself up about this as I beleive The Magic is in the Music, so I need that first.

My body is in better shape than it’s been for many years, upright rows with two 16 kilo kettle-bells last night – very good for me! My wife has a different man to the one she married – in body at least – and also in spirit she thinks. You are turning into a body builder she said the other night! All this is to enable the dance and stage activity later – once the music is in place. God willing I will not be 93 when this has been achieved!!!

Singing is a block – I must get back to it today.  I was knocked by my singing lesson -“You have the wrong perception of what singing is.” I was told. I think it’s about finding my voice not trying to immitate someone else – which I’m good at doing. But which is my voice? ….. Maybe that’s what this year is about somehow.

We watched Frozen Planet last night – Summer one – absolutely brilliant! I feel like sending a donation to the Beeb for having made it. Makes you proud to be British – the photography is astonishing.

OK back to work – guitar lessons followed by singing – wish me luck.

Have a great day – love N

PS I think I’m getting better with picture taking – these are mine… winter skies have a lovely light and the Suffolk sails and penants providing gorgeous shapes against it.

  • tease-and-stocking

  • tease-and-denial

  • sissification

  • my-princess-goddess

  • mesmerize

  • jerkoff-instruction

  • humiliation

  • handjob

  • foot-fetish

  • female-domination

  • dirty-talk

  • cum-eating-instruction

  • chastity

  • ass-worship